One who screams
So over here in Alaska, we pride ourselves in our burly men. However, some of us in Fairbanks choose to wear our shirts a few sizes smaller than we should! Alas, this is the case for our teddy bear of a Professor. One should feel more compassion for the buttons that strain under the pull of the Monroe Doctrine.
More disconcerting are his outbursts of tears in class, a “woe is me” cry for attention really. His quite wishy washy if you know what I mean, a s/he(wo)man. Tragique! His students watch the buttons with awe, impressed with their ability to hold themselves and ensure that he doesn’t fall out.
Research: What research!? Can we say, he is often caught surfing OMG! for the latest in shirt fashions. What research he does engage in is part of the sweatshop conditions of the one we can’t mention.
Teaching: Sad. Sad. Sad. Make sure you bring tissues. It is a Brazilian soap opera complete with novella-like gestures and faux big hair. Fights break out in class pitting groups against each other and often he is not there to referee and instead, relies on a graduate assistant. He’s a big girl, if you know what I mean, but is complete denial about it…
Service: He loves to whine, whine, whine. If he wasn’t such a good friend of you know who, he’d be traipsing around with our former Governor!
Some advice, sit in the back if you’re in his class. At least the buttons that pop won’t hurt as much.
